I took the challenge

For 2 months or more, routines and the norm at our house were kind of thrown out the door while this pregnant mommy laid around trying not to throw up.  There were days I'd grab a book or my bible and look at it, and then I'd feel nauseous even thinking about reading words.  Kind of like how I can't read in the car at all - but that feeling somehow transferred to the house, or at least I convinced myself of this. But I was sick, and tired and just plain lazy. And why is that sometimes 2 months or so feels like forever?

So Jess's challenge came at the perfect time!  Back from vacation, feeling better than I had in months, and desperately missing and needing my time with the Lord.  And not just a day or two here and there. I needed SOMETHING to help cultivate the daily habit in me.

I started by listening to the breakout session by Nancy Leigh DeMoss all about our devotional lives, that Jess linked to. I took notes and really prayed that the Lord would begin to show me again how absolutely necessary he is every day, and that I would make Him the highest priority in my life.

So it's day 15.  Half way through the challenge.  And I really can't even begin to explain all that God has shown me and been teaching me in the last 2 weeks.  It has been soooo good.  And although I am not setting my alarm and getting my booty out of bed before the kids do, I have been so lucky to have some amazing morning time while the kids play.  In my new favorite spot, outside on the deck...

And the days I don't - I just do it first thing when the kids go down for nap.
I've missed one day - last Saturday.  Weekends are the toughest. And to be honest, before this challenge I never even tried to find the time on weekends.  But this time I was determined that I needed God just as much on a Saturday as I do a Monday.  Normally, missing a day during a challenge like this would cause me to quit altogether - because I couldn't finish with a perfect score.  But this time I felt differently.  I just kept going, feeling encouraged that I am making God a priority in my life better than I ever have before - even on the weekends. It's not about marking something off my list for the day, but about cultivating a habit.

Along with reading through Ephesians, I just finished the book God As He Longs For You to See Him by Chip Ingram.  I mentioned this book awhile back in this post, when I had first started it.  I knew then it was going to change my life, change my perspective, and allow me to have a better understanding of who God is.

After the chapter on God's goodness, I couldn't imagine it getting better or being more life-changing, or able to expose any more misperceptions than the first chapter already had. But then there was the chapter on His justice (rocked me to the core) and then His love (an attribute that I came to understand so much more but can't even begin to grasp the depth and heights of his love for me still), and then His faithfulness. 

If I don't truly understand and trust how 100% faithful God is to me 100% of the time - then I won't trust the rest of his character either.  In a world that is so messed up, chaotic, ever-changing, disappointing and completely unable to satisfy me - why would I not want to get to know the ONE person who will come through for me 100% of the time in any and every situation, who loves me so unconditionally I can't even begin to truly understand it, and who because of his great wisdom, great goodness and unwavering justice will NEVER hand a raw deal to me, or ANYONE.  

Is this the God you know?

Who else or what else can do this for us?
It's a no brainer.
 Why would I not want to know the heart and character of this person to the very best of my ability?
Why would I not give Him the priority of all my days?
Why would I not want to spend all the time I can with the Creator of the Universe who longs to be my best friend?

If only my natural tendencies and sins wouldn't get in the way. If only my heart and mind didn't stray.
If only the world and it's temptations would just go away and leave me to focus on the only thing that matters.
But then again, if that were the case, I wouldn't need a Savior, and what happened at the cross for me would not matter.

And for that, I am grateful again for his attributes.  His immense love and faithfulness. Learning to understand that his love for me is there even when I don't feel it.  At my deepest times of need, when I feel most unlovable, worthless and weak - his grace will always show up.
This is a huge lesson for me, coming from past misperceptions that God is constantly looking down at me, disappointed, discouraged and tired of my failures.
Instead, I am just beginning to understand and see him as the perfect friend who steps in, picks me up, cheers me on, and helps me. He takes pity on me, hurts for me, and then he does something about it.

Zephaniah 3:17 reminds me that my God will sing over me regardless of anything I've done or not done.

"The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing"

I'm so excited about the next 15 days - and every day after that.

It's not too late to join the challenge.  If you need something to get you going again or even begin for the very first time - today is not too late.