So I haven't gotten very personal on my blog lately. Not because I have anything to hide, but I find it hard enough to keep up with getting our memories and milestones recorded that journaling my own thoughts each day requires more processing and reflection and more time.
But today I'll just give you a glimpse into my day, and into my head.
But I'm warning you, it's not pretty.
The week started off with a sick kiddo. Therefore ruining all hopes of getting anything on my mile-long-to-do list crossed off, plus the cancellation of several things that I was bummed to miss out on.
Today should have been a fun day, sickness is gone, and the kids were home with me all day, getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving. Instead, it was one of the worst days we've had in a very long time.
I never had time to get dressed, or eat breakfast and I barely grabbed any lunch. I caught the baby playing in the toilet and he was soaked. My heart stopped for a few seconds thinking of the "what if". So we did a middle-of-the-day bath to get all those germs off, and I left the mess of water and toilet paper all over the bathroom floor.
The door bell rang more times today than it does in a week or two. All of them unexpected for the most part. The dog went nuts every time, and it's a circus to try to move children and a dog out of the way so that I can even open the door.
We ate lunch almost 2 hours late. Because of the visitors, and the messes, and the chaos.
Every time I turned around there was a new mess. Dental floss being pulled completely out into a mile long string, cinnamon and sugar covering every surface of the kitchen counter and dining room table, and floor, the baby's mess in the bathroom, paint, plus the messes that were already there - like mountains of laundry and messy bedrooms.
The dog woke the baby up early from nap, and ate his snack every time I turned around.
I was asked to do a simple task of scanning pictures for someone today, and it turned into completely re-installing and trouble shooting why my scanner wasn't working. I finally got it, after a lot of wasted time.
One child got news that she won 2nd place in the newspaper's turkey coloring page contest. And the other child had a complete meltdown and wants to know what place he got. He doesn't understand why his name isn't in the paper too.
I forgot the bug sprayer guy was coming, so he got to walk all around the chaos in our house, and all over piles of laundry and messy bedrooms to spray for spiders.
And then someone backed out of our driveway and hit a van parked across the street. It was the worst place EVER to have parked a van (it belongs to one of the guys that rides to work with Dave) and I felt SOOOO bad and wanted to cry, and I wasn't even the one who did it.
The fancy dinner that was supposed to have been planned for tonight is not happening.
I texted my hubby some pretty awful messages. Basically to let him know how awful my day was going. Man, I hate when I do that.
And here we are, the day before Thanksgiving, and my heart was as ugly as can be.
I wanted desperately to just lay down at nap time and just sleep and forget it all. But instead I got a few things done, watched a DVR'd show and ate cinnamon sugar chips and drank a Pepsi, and opened the book that my bible study is doing right now - Real Moms...Real Jesus, by Jill Savage.
And this is what I read...
"Jesus understands my life and my frustrations. He, too, was interrupted as He went about His daily activities...Jesus was on his way to Galilee with a goal in mind when life happened and he had an opportunity to encourage someone along the way (the woman at the well)...Ministry for Jesus was the person standing in front of Him: the woman at the well, a tax collector (Zacchaeus), someone who needed healing, someone who had a question for Him...Ministry for you and for me is the same. It's the people standing in front of us: our husband, our children, friends, neighbors, and even complete strangers at times."
I have to remember that Jesus walked this earth in high demand, and I spend almost every day of my life feeling like I'm in high demand too. He had interruptions just like me.
But I need a change of perspective. I need a God-perspective. I need to see all these moments in my day not as interruptions but as God appointments. I didn't plan for these moments, but God did. God has given me the responsibility of ministering for those right in front of me.
To do this, I have to become more like Christ. To become more Christ-like I have to allow him to infuse his strength in me, because I don't have the strength to do it on my own. Because I am far from being anything like Him. And in order for Him to infuse his strength into me, I have to draw near to him and rest in him. He doesn't expect me to do it on my own.
But he asks that I give it over to Him, and then to all things to honor Him.
Today I did it all on my own. And I failed miserably.
The little people who have been placed in front of me to serve and to lead, I only saw as interruptions today.
So I've thrown my pity party. It was a bad one, huh? And our evening was pretty much ruined because we never recovered from the day's chaos.
And my prayer now is one of gratititude for new mercies each morning. I want my prayer to be one of thanksgiving for a Savior who understands my daily life and experiences.
"Lord help me to reframe what I do every day as a mom - seeing the interruption as opportunities rather than frustrations. Grow in me a servant's heart that ministers to whoever is standing in front of me." (excerpt from the book)
And tonight I'm thankful for Hebrews 4:15-16
We don't have a priest (Jesus) who is out of touch with our reality.
He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all - all but the sin.
So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give.
Take the mercy, accept the help.
(from The Message)
I'm thankful He's my friend who understands.
