closing a chapter.

So, I'm a processor.  And when big things happen in life, my mind is constantly processing.  

I can be super sentimental and I need good closure on things in order to keep myself from major meltdowns, which may or may not come anyway.  So I had to stop and sit down and write.

I had to do everything my heart needed to do or I knew I'd regret it.

So I put on Amy Grant's "If These Walls Could Speak" and sat among boxes at 3am just staring at this home.

That song was a special song of my Pi Phi days in college.  One I've probably heard twice in the last 10 years, but those lyrics just came to me today and they stuck.  And I had to listen. My heart had to say goodbye to these walls before all the busyness of moving day tomorrow.

So yeah, we are moving.  You may know that already. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you've seen what's been going on for the last month.  There's such an awesome story behind it all. And I want to tell it to you sometime.  A total God-story.  Something we've been waiting and wishing for for so long.  But that story has to wait.

Today is MOVING DAY!

Which means some really hard emotions too, that will more than likely be masked with the busyness and chaos of having friends show up to help us move. 

They aren't the hard emotions people have when they are moving far away, we are only moving 10 minutes away. We don't really have to say goodbye to anyone.  And it's not like I didn't know this day would come at some point.  We were pretty sure we wouldn't live in this house forever.   But change is hard.  Closing chapters of life can be so hard...especially when they were such a good chapter.  I'm not too much of a fictional reader, but it really is kind of like reading an awesome book, getting to the end and not wanting it to be over.  You know there's a sequel, so you know things go on.  But closing the back of that book is just no fun.  

That's how I feel.  What's ahead is so exciting and so much fun for us, and completely our dream.  But along with it means closing the back of the book and ending a really really good part of our lives.  

There's 2 parts to the story.  

Part 1 goes like this:

This is the house we moved to a year and a half after we were married.

Our first home purchase.

It's the house we really truly learned how to be husband and wife. (who are we kidding, still learning that one!)

It's the house we brought all 3 of our babies home from the hospital.

Where they spoke their first words and had their first Christmases.

It's the house our babies learned to walk in and then learned to ride their bikes in the driveway.

And just recently it's the house they took off riding bikes from to Grandma's.

It's the house we had to say goodbye to our beloved chocolate lab, Anni.

It's the house we tried to leave several times before, and God said it just wasn't time.  

The walls of this house could say so much about what it's seen.

Laughter, love, growth, heartbreak, pain, fear and everything in between.

"If these walls could speak.
Of things that they remembered well
Stories and faces dearly held
A couple in love
Livin' week to week
Rooms full of laughter
If these walls could speak

If these old halls
If hallowed halls could talk
These would have a tale to tell
Of sun goin' down and dinner bell
And children playing at hide and seek
From floor to rafter
If these halls could speak
If these walls could speak

If these old fashioned window panes were eyes
I guess they would have seen it all
Each little tear and sigh and footfall
And every dream that we came to seek
Or followed after
If these walls could speak"

 

This is the place we grew from 2 to 5.

The place where our family began. 

 And as if that weren't enough...

 here's how Part 2 goes:

I got married, moved to Newton, my husband's hometown, knew pretty much no one and began subbing in the school district.

I subbed a handful of times at Slate Creek, and then got hired to teach 3rd grade there.

It was my first year of marriage, no kids, first real job. 

I moved into my 3rd grade classroom and found out that I had the most WONDERFUL neighbor.

Kendall became my 3rd grade teaching partner and my mentor who taught me EVERYTHING about teaching 3rd grade.  That was just the beginning of what was to come of all that I'd be learning from her.

Being classroom neighbors was the best.

I got pregnant, then she got pregnant.
I ran to throw up all the time while I was pregnant, and she always watched my class for me.

They invited us to be part of their small group, couples who went to a completely different church than us, but we were longing for meaningful friendships with other couples our age, and in the same season of life.  We found exactly what we were looking for.

The next year we taught together again.

I got pregnant again, then she got pregnant again.

I promise we never discussed this ahead of time.

Then we decided that instead of being next door to each other, we'd just share a classroom and share the job.

So we babysat each other's kiddo while the other one was working. She hauled the babies to school at noon and we'd switch and I'd take them home.  Job-sharing with her was the best and if it hadn't have been for growing families and the pull to be at home with my babies, I could have done it for years and year and years.

Then, instead of just being classroom neighbors, we became REAL neighbors too.  

I remember the excitement of them moving in.

For the last 4 years they've been our backyard neighbors.  We cut an opening in the fence and made a gate to get back and forth easily.

She got pregnant and then I got pregnant again. 

All 6 of our kids are the same age.  They have become the closest of friends.

Summers have been a child's dream.  Maybe a mom's dream too? 

Eat breakfast, run off with the neighbor kids, come back at lunch. 

After school, they come home, grab a snack and find each other fast.

For us parents...sometimes it's extra extra quiet in the house because everyone is at the other house, and sometimes it's extra extra loud because everyone is at our house...but both were so very very good.

We became classroom neighbors in August of 2005. 

We became real neighbors in April of 2011

That's a total of 10 years, right now this month...of being neighbors of some sort. 

She walked with me through some really hard stuff and celebrated with me during some really exciting stuff.  She definitely saw me at my best and worst.

And today, even though our friendship will continue, we close that chapter and begin a new. 

I've been so busy and distracted by the work at our new farmhouse and packing up my other house, that I haven't slowed down to process much.  But today the tears came.  She came over

with muffins and coffee in hand and helped me pack up my house and we hugged and cried.  I knew I would at some point, it was all just hiding in there for awhile.

Not many people get the opportunity to live life with close friends like this.

And to be honest, I was nervous at first to have such good friends right by us.  She'd see my mess, she'd hear me yell, she'd wonder why I'm such a homebody, she'd see that we don't eat dinner on time like they do, she'd get annoyed of my kids and see how naughty they can be.  But you know what...having someone know you like that, there's a sense of freedom to that.  

I could never list all the things I loved about being neighbors.  The memories I will take are so very very precious to me. 

It was so so so good.  And while we are moving on to a dream that we've had for so long, and we know that God's hand has been in every detail, we are sad.  We are leaving a wonderful neighborhood, the neighborhood Dave grew up in.  Grandma and Grandpa are here too, just a 2 minute bike ride away for the kids.  And other friends in front of us, beside us and all around.  God put us in a very very special place for the last 9 years.  We are so grateful for the life we built here, the memories we've made and the friendships that have grown. 

It's all bittersweet.  This is the bitter part.  But I know the sweet part is to come.  My heart just has to process this part first.

I hope I can keep up with life enough to share a lot of the next chapter with you.  IF I will ever have internet again that is.  You'd think I was moving to Antarctica with the choices of internet service.

Geesh!

So here I am. With all kinds of roller coaster emotions... closing this chapter and opening the next.