the bridal shower

I'm going to start with a disclaimer.  I realize that most pictures of parties on Pinterest are put on by professional party planners, people who do this all the time, with budgets that are much higher than ours was.  Pinterest can be so good and so bad at the same time.  It can cause people to compare, feel unworthy, and get carried away by trying to impress.  But it can also be an amazing resource for ideas and inspiration and can help creativity come alive!

My goal was not to have a Pinterest-worthy shower.

My goal was to work my tail off for someone I loved dearly.  To create an atmosphere to honor her and make her feel so special and loved and to leave her with memories for a lifetime. This can be done in SOOOO many ways.  Putting on a fancy shower is not a necessary way to do that. 

But in this case, for this friend...this was what I chose.  I wanted her to walk in and feel like a princess.

I wanted my love to pour out into the details.  So these are the ways I chose to do that.

But love can be poured out in so many ways.

 Invitation designed by Tabitha at Whimsical Stationary.

My plan to be doing as little as possible at the last minute was a God-send. 

When normally my list would be 10 miles long and I'd be sweating bullets until the very last second,

I was instead facing this huge event 48 hours out and my baby being admitted to the hospital for a bacterial infection in his joints/tissues that caused him to stop walking.

My world kind of stopped.

I now had no idea what the next 2 days would look like, but I was so thankful my list of things left to do was only about 5 hours long.  Which was about the same amount of time it took for Daddy to get Gavin to the hospital, checked in, and into a room.

So it worked well for me to stay behind and finish and join them at the hospital later.

Things went well at the hospital and after the first day, we realized he was going to be just fine.  We started taking turns at the hospital and worked out a plan for me to still make the 3 hour trip for the shower.

3 hours there,

3 hours of set up,

3 hours of the shower,

2 hours of clean up

and then 3 hours back home to relieve Dave at the hospital and take the overnight shift.

But I was so thankful it all worked out for me to be there.  If I hadn't, there was a entire truck bed of supplies that would have had to make the 3 hour trip without me.  I was thankful for family who offered to drive it there and for friends who were helping with the shower willing to do whatever was needed.

I was kind of a nervous wreck.  Everything was done and packed up to go, but I had NO idea how it was really going to end up looking.  It's so hard to plan an event like this in a room you've only seen in pictures.

I knew that once I got there, if things didn't start coming together like in my head, there was nothing I could do at that point.  So I just prayed really hard.  And was blessed to have my sweet bible study praying about it too.

I forgot to tell you that in the chaos of a baby in the hospital, our family plans to go to KC together getting cancelled, and trying to figure out if I'd still be able to get there myself...

my friend Rachel decided she could go with me!

That sure made leaving at 4am a little easier. And really ended up being the BEST THING EVER!
We called her my little "Cinderella", but I hope I was much nicer to her than the step-mom.
But seriously, she helped me carry in loads and loads of boxes of supplies, she helped me make last minute decisions on some of the details, she got me this and that, and ran all over the place until the shower started. She became a helper to all of us hosting the shower.  She cleared dishes from the table as ladies finished eating, and had almost all the dishes done before the shower was over.  That saved us at LEAST an hour of clean up in the end.
  Even just making the ride with me and being there for me helped me hold myself together in such a whirlwind.

She was a HUGE HUGE blessing to me that day.

I had a "practice" table set up in my basement for months before this and changed things, added things, took things away and had several friends offer input through the months.

I started searching our local thrift shop for mismatched tea cups and then someone contacted me to say they were selling a bunch they used for a wedding for 25cents a piece. Definite score.

When I priced the cost of buying nice disposable plastic plates from Party City, plastic champagne flutes, and all the other tableware...we found out we could save money renting real stuff.

Score again.  Because I really didn't like the idea of having some real stuff (tea cups and saucers) and the rest plastic.

It just meant a lot of dirty dishes.  (enter clearing my throat sound)

That's where our little "Cinderella" saved the day.

Chargers - borrowed.  (except for the 5 being sold on my local FB swap site for $1.  I really felt bad only paying her $1, but that's all she asked for).  Another score.

Gold silverware - borrowed.  YES! YES! YES!!  My favorite.  And now I want a set of gold silverware myself.  I just don't know what I'd do with it.

We had each guest write their marriage advice down on the cute advice cards and then attached them all to a big metal ring for a keepsake.

I realize that I took on a huge task of doing the decorations alone. But that meant that these ladies took care of all the yummy food, helped everywhere else I needed them, and helped bring the whole thing to life on the day of.  I could have NEVER done it without them.

The sunglasses were a little party favor Jenny brought us because we hadn't been able to be at her bachelorette party in Palm Springs the weekend before.

4 Pi Phis, the bride-to-be, her mom, and two aunts.

.

 It was a joy to pour out my love and honor my friend on this day.

I was so thankful for this opportunity because I just don't get normal every day opportunities to do that anymore.  She is dear to me.  Her parents are so dear to me too.

It was a lot of work.  Don't let those Pinterest pictures make you believe otherwise.  The hours and sweat and stress and coordination and communication and every last little thing that has to be remembered...it was a true labor of love. And it required way more hands and heads than just mine. 

But it was all worth it.

 I was honored to have a part in celebrating her and the marriage she was about to enter into.

Oh yeah, my kids made the 3 hour trip with us too.  They were devasated when our plans to stay with some friends in KC were cancelled.  So with Dave in the hospital with Gavin, they obviously had to go somewhere.  So our sweet friend suggested I still bring them along.  They lived on the way to the shower venue, and she even met us right off the interstate to get them.  They were ecstatic.

Before we hit the road for home, we ended our "fancy" day with some gas station hot dogs.

Because sometimes you need friends that you can get fancy with, and sometimes you need friends that you can eat gas station hot dogs with.

 

Sources:
Black and White table runner  - Hester and Cook
Advice Card - La Belle Studio
Invitation, food tents and place settings cards - WhimsicalStationary
Tablecloths and coral napkins -  Linen Tablecloth
All other table decor - vases, candlesticks, etc - thrifted or borrowed
Tea cups and saucers - thrifted

my "fancy" friend

I've had a few friends begging for months to see more pictures of a wedding shower that I hosted back in March.   I'm finally getting around to it, but before I do, I want to tell you about the person it was all for. 

I'll call her my "fancy" friend, because...well...she's way more fancy than I. 

We pledged the same sorority our freshman year of college.

We found ourselves sitting in a big living room with 49 other girls after one of the most exhausting and emotionally draining weeks so far in our lives...

(Rush week now has nothing on exhausting and emotionally draining experiences, but for an 18 year old away from home for the first time, it was HUGE.)

I personally sat there, looking around the room thinking "WHAT in the world had I just gotten myself into?"  

We were hearing the upperclass leaders tell us that this room was filled with the girls that would be our best friends, would stand beside us on our wedding day, and visit when our babies were born.

 To be honest, it was kind of going in one ear and out the other at that point.

I really just wanted to run away to the bed someone had told me I could sneak off to alone and just sleep if I wanted to.  

YES please. 

(I was still an introvert way back then)

I'm a people watcher.  I prefer watching everyone, rather than interacting sometimes. 

While I really can't tell you what I really did that night, or who I talked to...

I know I watched a lot of girls.  And formed a lot of first impressions, some being correct and some being way off.

And I'm sure first impressions were being made of me that night too.

And I'm guessing I wasn't doing a very good job of impressing anyone in my state of exhaustion and overwhelmedness. (perhaps not a real word, but we'll go with it)

But of all the things I cannot remember from 15 years ago,

I do have one clear and vivid memory of that night.

The girl in the silk pajama shorts.

I had never owned silk anything in my life.  Or anything that even felt like silk.

And her hair....I'm not kidding, it was just like the girl from the Ramona Quimby books, you know that girl with the bouncy curls, and Ramona just stared at them and wanted so badly to reach out and pull on one to see it boing!

I didn't exactly feel the need to touch them.  But everything about her was interesting to me.

She was beautiful, fun, and in the center of all the action all night long.

If there had been some twisted and rude game that night that required me to choose the one person in that group of girls that I would least likely become friends with, I would have no doubt put her name down.

Not ANYTHING because of her.  Just because I could tell immediately that we were 2 very different people who came from 2 very different places.

Surely all of her friends wore silk pjs too.

Fast forward a few months, maybe even a few weeks, I don't really remember.

But our pledge class was taking our "pledge class sneak"...a weekend trip.

Someone's mom, somewhere in Kansas was hosting all 50 of us.  We just had to get there.

And wouldn't ya know...

somehow I found myself in front of my soon-to-be "fancy" friend and we both mentioned how we didn't have anyone to ride with yet.

She offered to drive, and it ended up being just us two.

We became forever friends on that car ride.

She wears Dior and Vera Wang.  I wear Target and Old Navy.

She drives in rush hour traffic for hours and hours a day.

I many days don't drive more than 10 minutes my whole day.

She's from the city.  I'm from small town Kansas.

She loves Halloween and costumes and dancing.  I kind of despise all 3 of those things. 

She waited 10 years after college to be married.  I just celebrated my 10th year wedding anniversary.

Heads turn when she walks in the room.  Heads may only turn when I walk in a room because I'm probably late.

She's moved from the city, to another city to the beach.  I still live in small town Kansas.

She's seen Paris and London and I've seen more wheat fields and country roads than she probably even knew existed.

She spent the days after college graduation in Vegas, and LA, and New York.  I spent mine with little third graders and then soon after my own babies.

But none of that ever mattered.

We saw each other at our best and worst for 4 years.

We encouraged each other, borrowed each other's clothes (ok, ok, I borrowed HER clothes),

we cried, laughed, ate Thai take-out, stayed out too late, picked each other up from classes, 

roomed together many times, went home with each other on weekends, took trips together, and so much  more.

And you know what?

She DID stand beside me on my wedding day.

And she visited after our first baby was born.

She is dear to my heart and means so much to me. Despite our distance, despite our differences.

That car ride 15 years ago began something that none of that other stuff can really mess with.

Life is hard sometimes, and roads sometimes take us on different paths.

Sometimes what's going on in your life and the season of life you're in can be hard when friends are in a totally different season. It takes more work to stay connected.  And I don't know about you, but sometimes I'm really good about being intentional with my friendships and sometimes I fail.

But you know how real friendships have that way of picking up right where they left off?

And the big things in life bring you back together.

Like weddings..

The most "fancy" wedding we've ever been to!

I can't wait to show you pictures of it!

But before weddings...there are showers.

And I was honored to get to head-up her Kansas bridal shower.

It was the perfect opportunity to pour out my love for her and show her and her family how much they meant to me.

So goal #1 - make it FANCY.

I wanted nothing but fancy for my "fancy" friend.

 I saw her Pinterest boards, I know her love and attention to details.

I wanted so badly to bring this to life as best as I could within our means.

Goal #2 - do NOT let this turn into a last minute planning and prep ordeal like usual.

So I started the planning process 5 months before the shower.

Ha. Some people don't even plan their wedding for 5 months.

But I knew I couldn't pull this off otherwise. 

And in the end, things took a very unexpected turn so it was such a good thing that this was one of my goals from the start.

The theme and inspiration was decided on very early with a little bit of help from the bride-to-be.

 Here were my inspiration pictures...

 

What I knew from the get-go...

*black and white stripes

*shades of pink

*gold

*mismatched tea cups

I spent months and months thrifting for vases and candlesticks to spray paint gold

And with the help of that other amazing ladies who helped make the shower happen...we found gold chargers and gold silverware!  Some of my favorite details.

 

 The facility we were using didn't allow any balloons with helium and nothing taped or connected to walls.  Which really limits you when it comes to decorations other than sticking with the table.

So I wanted to make a few big focal points because I knew the room we'd be in was large.

I needed something that could be transported and stand alone, since I couldn't use the walls or ceiling to attach. 

  

 So I decided on big pieces of wood made to look like a big canvas.  I covered the wood with the striped fabric.  I free-handed the same initials that were on the invitation onto posterboard.  Then cut it out and spray painted the poster board and attached with double sided tape to the board. 

 

I'm not sure what gold forks, spoons and knives are really called.  Goldware?

Or gold silverware?  That's kind of contradictory.  But whatever it's called, it was my favorite detail of all!

Shower pictures up next!