I'm a little frazzled lately.
The calendar turned to August. As in August 2012. The month that I had counted out years ago, as the month I'd send my first baby to school. And now it's here. After thinking that month seemed SO far off, and thinking I had plenty of time with my first born, August 2012 is here.
On top of school, our calendar is blowing up at the seems. We were lazy all summer. Other than the trips we took, we didn't have much on the calendar at all. But that's all changing now that it's August. Which is okay, a routine is good, and helps me be more productive. But there's usually still some anxiety and stress as we transition into new busy seasons of life.
On top of my girl going to Kindergarten, and our calendar getting super full, I'm also getting to do the single mom gig all week, for a few weeks. We are always thankful that Dave has work, and especially thankful that his crew is actually super busy. But having work that is an hour and a half away is not so fun. It's too far away for them to drive back and forth every day, so it makes more sense to stay for the week. So my mom came to help me juggle things for a week. Then we'll manage on our own next week. The week didn't have the best start when Dave had to leave at 5 am, Monday morning, after listening to me puke my brains out for a few hours in the early morning. I'm pretty sure he felt quite awful about having to leave me. But I assured him (even if I didn't believe myself) that we'd be fine. And thankfully after Nana came to take all the kids for a few hours while I laid in bed moaning, I felt better about noon when I finally crawled out of bed to start the week. I guess that taco, pepsi, funnel cake and more pepsi at the fair the night before didn't set so well with me.
So maybe this extra stress and busyness would explain why on earth I had a meltdown at Kindergarten enrollment today. Yeah, it wasn't so pretty. Kind of embarrassing actually. Normally I have a pretty good idea of what's gonna cause me to be emotional. Like the first day of Kindergarten...I've been completely prepared to deal with emotions that day. I realize I may be fine, and I realize I may possibly lose it. Or anything in between. But TODAY? Enrollment? It's just filling out a bunch of papers, and writing a check. I didn't even know it was possible to cry at enrollment. It never even crossed my mind that today would be difficult. But oh man, those emotions snuck up on me quick.
I'm sure there were several factors that didn't help. Like being tired, and feeling stressed and maybe even a little nervous to be a in a new place. I have been known to cry when I'm nervous. But all it took was for one person to ask me how I was doing and I started trying to fight back tears. I had Taylor and Mason with me, and I tried REALLY hard to hold it together. But as I was being walked into the gym, with more comments about sending Taylor off to school, I had to stop and escape towards the bathrooms. I couldn't hold the tears in and completely lost it. I couldn't help but laugh at myself too. SERIOUSLY? Crying at enrollment? Please please please someone tell me I am not the first mom to do that.
My poor kiddos wondered what in the world was wrong with me. Both of their eyes got a little watery too. Thank the Lord they didn't start crying too. Otherwise it may have been quite the spectacle. Luckily I had a sweet lady who stood with me and hugged me. I think I made her cry too though.
I pulled it together, dried my face, and with puffy eyes I sat down and waited for our number to be called. The rest of the process was painless. Later today Taylor said "Mom, can I tell Nana you cried at enrollment? It's ok if you don't want me to, I don't have to". We are definitely trying to laugh about it now though.
So I think that means I got all my tears out, and I'll be 100% fine on the first day of school. Surely, right?
Whether I'm ready or not, August 2012 is here.
Someone please remind me to get good sleep next week. That may help.
Having my hubby back would probably help too (but I don't think I'm going to get that)
6 comments:
I just went back and looked at my blog posts from when Sophie started K. (2008) There is a comment from you, saying you can't imagine what you are going to be like in a few years! :) I had my emotional meltdown the day before school started. I remember that afternoon at school... I could not stop crying! But in the end, it was the best thing. I got it all out of my system and was fine on the first day! Even if you're not fine... you'll be great and so will she! Can't wait to read about it! :)
i cry at enrollment - every year. this was the FIRST year that i did NOT cry... and this is my 9th year doing this ;-)
i already told chris that he HAD to take the first day of school off... you're sending your firstborn... i'm sending my BABY! i've done that before and it was ugly. since abe is afternoon, i told chris i wanted a lunch date after we left and i did NOT want to go home to an empty house ;-)
this momma stuff... HARD!
Too bad our kids aren't at the same school...we could console each other. :) I'm going to be a mess on the first day of school, pretty sure. And I've also made Ryan take the day off. Sending my baby off=yuck!
Amanda, I will tell you that I cried at Hannah's first day at kindergarten and this time when I go with Jill to Sophie's, I KNOW I will be in tears. The way Mrs. Burkhart handles it is just sooooo sweet and your heart will melt! I'll be sure to give you a hug! Taylor is going in the morning, right?
ahhhh...it is hard to see them grow up! i didn't cry at enrollment BUT i did cry the first few days because i was sick in bed and couldn't walk Ava into her first day of school. Taylor will have so much fun-Ava loves school, which makes me love it for her! Thinking of you next week!
Hugs to you! I know the tears came during enrollment and first day for me last year, and I will prob do the same this year too! It is pretty amazing what they learn though!
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